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Twenty-Six Lipograms and a Pangram on a Pear

by Kinton Ford
 

Each of the 26 lipograms uses 25 different letters, leaving one out from Z to A.  The pangram at the end uses all 26 letters, of course. --K.F.



 

This is just to say

I have eaten

the plums

that were in

the icebox

and which

you were probably

saving

for breakfast

Forgive me

they were delicious

their quick so sweet

so cold
 

*
 

This is just to confess

I was so bold as to eat

the plums

that were 

in the icebox 

and which

I think were meant to be 

saved

for breakfast

Forgive me

I found them delicious

their quick so sweet

and so cold
 

*

Just to quickly tell you what the buzz is

I have eaten

the plums

that were

in the fridge

and which

you were probably

saving

for breakfast

Forgive me

they were delicious

so juicy

and so cold 
 

*

This is just to say

I have brazenly eaten

the plums

that I found

in the icebox

the plums

you probably meant

to save

for breakfast

I must inquire if you'll forgive me

for eating them --  so delicious

so honeyed

and so cold  

*

This is just to say

I was brazen enough to eat

the plums

that were

in the icebox

and which

you were

probably intending

to eat at breakfast

Pardon O pardon me

they were delicious

their quick so sweet

and so cold  

*
 

This is a jesting way of confessing

that I have eaten

the damsons

that were

in the icebox

 

and which

were probably

meant to be saved

for breakfast,

 

not serve as

a prize for

my late Stevensian

homecoming – cf. “The World as Meditation”

 

Forgive me

they were tasty

so sweet

and so cold  

*

I am confessing -- jokingly yes and also seriously -–

My having brazenly consumed

every plum

in our

icebox

plums

you were

probably saving

for our morning meal

Forgive my delinquency

all were delicious

so saccharine and

so cold  

*

I am writing a note to tell you

What a jerk I am: I have eaten

each plum

in the

icebox

each and every plum

you probably

meant for our

morning meal

Forgive me

To the tongue

they were like quickened honey

and amazingly cold 

*

This is just to say

I have fecklessly eaten

the plums 

that I found

in the icebox

and that I bet

you meant

to save

to eat in the AM

OK -- Now I am in quest

that you should be zen

enough

to indulge

my weakness of will.

But how delicious

each one was

so sweet and so cold 

*

This is just to say

I have eaten

the plums 

that were

in the icebox

and which

you were probably

Saving for breakfast after

a night of z’s

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold 

*

This is just to say

that I quickly zeroed in

on the damsons

that were

in the icebox

and which

you were

most likely saving

for breakfast

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold 

*

Just me saying

that grazing

last night I ate

the plums

that were in the fridge

and which

were very likely

intended 

as breakfast

Accept my repentance

but they were delightful

I didn’t expect such high quality

chilled

sweetness  

*

This is just to say

that I felt a little peckish

& too lazy to go to the store

to quell my appetite

after I saw the plums

I took them from the icebox & ate them

the plums

which you probably

had thought

would make a good breakfast

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

& cold  

*
 

This is just to say

that I have eaten

the apricots

that were

in the icebox

and which

you were

probably

saving for breakfast

Having reduced their quantity to zero

I now ask whether I can be forgiven.

They were delicious

so sweet and so cold  

*

This is just a quick zing to impart

that I have eaten

the damsons

that were

in the icebox

 

and which you were

I imagine

saving

for breakfast

 

Forgive me 

they were toothsome

so sweet

and fresh

 

*

 

I have eaten the plums, yo

that were

in the

icebox

 

and which

you were probably

saving for

tomorrow morning

 

This is just to forestall

the quizzical glance

you were going

to give me

 

I’d prefer that you forgave me instead.

They were delicious

so sweet 

and so cold

 

*

This is only to say

that I did something crazy

(by our domestic standards)

sed quaritur what?

I ate the plums in the icebox

that you were prolly saving for breakfast.

 

Forgive me

they were scrumptious

so sweet

and so cold  

*

Just a note to tell you

that the azure plums

you probably planned

to eat for breakfast

are gone from the cold storage box

All my fault

and a query

can you pardon me

they were

very good

delectable

so sweet

and so cold

*

I am just writing to say

I’ve eaten plum upon plum

as you were quietly snoozing

every plum

in our icebox

in fact

plums

you were probably

saving for breakfast

Forgive me

it was a delicious experience

so sweet and so cold 

*

This is just to say

before you make any inquiries

that I ate

the plums

that were in the icebox

and which

you probably

wanted

for breakfast 

I was quite bedizened

by how delicious they were

so sweet and cold

Absolve me?   

*
 

This is just to say

I have eaten

the plums

that were

in the icebox

and which

you were

probably saving to have as a quick, not too ritzy meal tomorrow morning

Pardon me

they were delicious

so sweet and

so cold  

*
 

I’m just taking up my quill to say

I had a gravid craving

to scarf down plums and…

wait for it… LOX

last night

and I was too high on Zoloft

to go out

and buy

any

So I did scarf down a bowlful with

Nova although I thought you thought

you’d start your day

with fruit or fish

I ask pardon for indulging

in a wrong that I must still

admit was flavorful

so sugary, so cold 

*
 

This is to say

I have eaten

the plums

that were

in the icebox

an act you probably won't accept acquiescently

since I guess you were saving them

for breakfast

Forgive my zaniness

in writing a poem

about this but they were just so palatable

so sweet so cool   

*
 

This is just to say

that I was morally lax enough

to have left the zone

of ordinary human virtue

so far behind as to have downed

without a qualm the plums

that were in the fridge

and that you were

probably

saving for breakfast

Forgive me

they were delightful

so sweet and

so refreshing   

*
 

This is just to say

that I am using an iphone app

to fax you this note

from the toilet to let you know that

I quenched a violent desire

for fresh fruit through eating

the dozen or so plums

that were in the fridge

and which you were most likely

saving for the whole family when we all woke up.

I know I shouldn’t have

which is why I can’t face you

and have to fax this note instead

and plus it might seem yucky

Forgive me

as I am forgiving myself

they were delicious

so sweet and so cold 

*
 

This is just to tell you

I consumed

the plums

you left

in the icebox

no doubt with

the intent of

enjoying them

in the morning

Question: will you forgive me

or will you zing me

or withhold sex

It’s OK if you do

I deserve it

but they were delicious

so sweet

so cold   

*

 

This is to say that

I saw a querulous zebra

jump over a fox’s 

back to invade

our home

and munch on the

pears

that you were probably

saving

 

to make a keepsake out of

I took it down

with my cross-bow

and now you can have

 

a striped tanned zebra-hide

rug instead

In the meantime

I ate some of its meat

 

it was delicious

so gamey and hot

here is a selfie

 

Kinton Ford is a pseudonym.